The art of not caring.

Look around; the world is on fire. Every hour you are discovering a new reason to be anxious and afraid. To focus on the troubles of many instead of the troubles that lay in your path. You may not even have a path, for how could you? There’s too much happening, all at once, for you to carve your own piece.

You keep your head down, do your job well, establish a routine that allows you to get by, and find enjoyment in the moments where enjoyment is to be found. But when you turn your eyes to the world around you in hopes of satisfying your curiosity, you find yourself battered with information, opinions, and demands from people you don’t know. Instructions on how to think, feel, and act. In moments like this, you needn’t be overwhelmed. Not if you can master the art of not caring.

Who Cares?

We all care. That’s good. It’s nice when someone cares about us. It feels good to care about someone else. The state of caring can be enough motivation to carry us through a challenging task. We care, so it’s worth it. Don’t think that in mastering the art of not caring, one may never care again. The paradox of your situation is that you care enough to learn to limit the amount in which you care. Good for you.

Why Learn the Art of Not Caring?

We live in an information age that is absolutely unprecedented. Anything you could ever want to know is in your pocket. The curtain has been pulled back in the play of life; simultaneously you can watch the show and what is happening backstage. Although it is important to be careful about what information you choose to consume, the reality is that you will be presented with a barrage of information on the daily whether you like it or not.

If you care about all that you are asked to care about, you will sink into a pool of despair that has no bottom. At this moment, there is genocide being committed, there is war in Europe, there are celebrities getting away with immoral acts. There is an expectation for you to pick a side. To feel a kind of way. To join the mob, or stand against it (which is only joining a different mob).

Let us take a moment to address the truth. It is more than likely that in your current situation, you can do nothing to change one of these cold realities of life. You most certainly cannot change them all. You are a mere human. One of over 8 billion living in an incomprehensibly large world. Recognize that your power lies in your daily life, and how you choose to live it.

Step 1: Clean Your War Room

The first thing you must do to master the art of not caring is stop all moral battles you are waging. You must recognize that you are most likely unorganized, misguided, and lacking strategy. You may have been tricked into caring by virtue signalling charlatans that have something to gain by rousing your support. You may be angry about things that you barely understand. Things that would otherwise not affect you.

Ask yourself: Who are you to care about the plight of a country on the other side of the world when you haven’t eaten a proper meal in days. It’s unwise to act like a martyr. The first step in being able to do anything is to stop trying to do everything.

Step 2: Stop Inheriting the Battles of Others

Once you have taken the time to reset yourself, you must put measures in place to keep your battles few and manageable. You may break these down as follows:

i) Exercise discipline in conversation:

When you find yourself confronted with someone who cares deeply about a topic, it is important to exercise discipline. If you are an agreeable person, don’t succumb to the temptation of taking their side. If you tend to be disagreeable, fight the temptation to play devil’s advocate. Allow them their moment of passion. Hear them out, but don’t commit yourself to an opinion. You will find that when you walk away from this conversation, you will do so much more freely if you haven’t placed your thoughts on the record.

ii) Limit your informational intake:

As it is important to maintain a healthy physical diet, it is also important to maintain a healthy informational diet. Take stock of the sources of information you are consuming regularly. Podcasts, disguised in the realm of “entertainment”, are often machines espousing information and misinformation alike. Allowing the likes of Joe Rogan, as an example, to speak directly into your ear for hours at a time makes it almost impossible to form your own opinions. The passion that a podcaster may have for a topic can be easily passed to you, and you must be wary of inheriting said passion.

Social media sites such as Reddit, Instagram, TikTok, and X all provide similar problems. When you find yourself getting sucked into some new dilemma via social media, put the phone down and do something to clear your mind. Exercise your body. Meditate. Remind yourself, this is none of my concern. Let the problem rise out of your psyche, and let it go. Only return to the source of information when you feel you are ready, and see it as necessary for you to do so.

iii) Keep your opinion among trusted counsel:

In the matters that do concern you, those that do require an opinion from you, be careful who you share with. You may need to bounce an idea off of someone to better formulate it, but it is imperative that you choose wisely. This will take some trial and error, but be sure to learn from and not repeat these errors. You want your counsel to show respect for your opinion, and allow it to develop. You, however, don’t want a yes man, and the ideal counsel will correct you when you are missing the mark.

The thing you most want to avoid is someone trying to sway your opinion to better suit them in the pursuit of their goals. Don’t allow the battles of your counsel to affect your own internal peace.

If you cannot trust anyone with your opinion, keep it to yourself. Reflect inward, and use a journal as your confidant.

Step 3: Focus on Self-Improvement

To truly master the art of not caring, one must master oneself. More realistically, one should focus on mastering one aspect of yourself. Pick a goal. Your options lie within you. Perhaps you want to gain physical fitness; so you commit yourself to mastering a martial art. Perhaps you want to gain academic knowledge; then join an academic institution, or curate a syllabus of books to read. Perhaps you want to better understand music; learn to be proficient at a musical instrument.

You will find that the more mental bandwidth that you designate to self mastery, the less space you will have to worry about the tribulations of others. This will prove to be a much more satisfying way of life, as you have more control over yourself than you do over anyone or anything else.

In Conclusion

The art of not caring, somewhat of a misnomer, is mainly about limiting what you care about. You must pick your battles, or else live at the whim of whomever thrusts a new cause before you. Learn to discipline yourself in conversation, to limit your informational intake, and to confide only in trusted counsel, and you will find that much less care will be asked of you. Focus less on the plight of the world, and more on the improvement of self, and you will live a much more satisfying life.

Author’s Note

Thank you to those who are joining us. I welcome you to the House of Lamont, and I do hope you stay. I invite you to contribute to the conversation. Let me know your thoughts. Pick my brain. Stay in touch.

More to come soon.

-Don